We’re skipping the Super Bowl this year. Yeah, I know — say it ain’t so.

The only reason we watch is for the commercials (sports?) — but with teh interwebs you can see all that water cooler stuff the week before or on Facebook the next day.  And don’t get me wrong — sitting around the house eating nachos and cheering for a team you only recently learned about that morning — can be a lot of fun. But I want to spend that time with my 4 year-old daughter.. and the Super Bowl is not a place for her.

We were watching one of the playoff games at my brother-in-law’s house a few weeks ago and I felt like such a prude.  It wasn’t the violence on the field it was the sex and violence during each commercial break.

Now let’s be clear — most any Nicolas Cage movie will induce a nightmare for normal people — but the latest trailer for his fiery skeleton on a motorcycle movie during the football game had me gasping. Seriously — what was this trailer rated?

Demon Guy jumping out of nowhere onto the car? Creepy! Mr. Flame shooting fire out of his mouth while some dude shoots a machine gun at him? What? Granted, it’ll be kinda cute when I ask my kiddo if she wants cake and she replies “Hell Yes!” — but wildly inappropriate.

Am I insane?  Am I super protective? Or am I just lazy and don’t want to be awoken in the middle of the night having to soothe her Nicolas Cage dreams? I’m just getting over my own Sorcerer’s Apprentice nightmares.

Maybe I am assuming too much — maybe they don’t want me watching the greatest sports spectacle on earth with my daughter. How can they feed this country’s lust for Danica Patrick’s boobs, light beer and horror movies with my pre-schooler in the room? They can’t and they probably don’t want her there either.

So we’re going to the beach this Sunday and will catch the ads online some other time. Besides, it’s only sunny for one day during the winter in Oregon and that’s scheduled for this Sunday.  So we’re outta here.